I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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