I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Welp...herpes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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