I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
