I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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