At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I will be naked everywhere
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
