Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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