dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
