we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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