Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
