The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
