the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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