There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
