Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
