hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
