If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i out mim tonsoeep
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