Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
