Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
