it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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