wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Blood and glitter go together right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
