I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
