Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
