there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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