I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
