I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
