she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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