What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
