I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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