I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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