sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
