I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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