Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize