Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
babies were throwing up all over the place
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Randomize
