i just wanna soil my oats bro
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
