You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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