If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
