What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My life is pants optional.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
