After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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