I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
tonight lets celebrate not being married
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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