he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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