Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't deserve a penis
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
