The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
apparently the secret to your success is patron
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
