the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
