Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
