oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
