So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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