i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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