i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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