And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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