forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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