are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
