You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
