Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
