I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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