Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
