dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
