She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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