I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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