he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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